And So It Begins

Well, I just gave my "leave of absence" notice to the District Director at my company. It's freakin real y'all. I'm packing my bags today for my first of G-d knows how many moves. Here is my Nomad Schedule (as I like to call it) for the next six months:

April 1st: Move my stuff into my uncle Arthur's apartment in Chelsea so my subletter can move in.

April 21st: Leave for Utah to realize another dream - volunteer in America's largest No Kill Animal Sanctuary Best Friend's Animal Sanctuary for four days with my dear friend Nora!

April 25th: Drive to Vegas Baby! There will be chillaxing by the pool, eating delicious food and...??? (Nora, get ready girl)!

April 27th: Take the red-eye back to NYC.

May 4th: THE BIG TRIP! Leave for Israel to find whatever it is that is waiting for me.

In this time I hope to go to the following places (in no particular order):

Tel Aviv (and surrounding neighborhoods) - see family, friends, and enjoy the night life and beaches.

Jerusalem - meet Cousin Charlotte for the first time! Go to the Kotel. Drink at the bar that my uncle Arthur just invested in (gotta support family, right?!)

Haifa (Ramat Y'shai) - Haibait y'all (which means Go home y'all). The last place in Israel that my family and I lived in was in a cute little home in a cute little town called Ramat Y'shai outside of Haifa. I'm going to go back again and this time take video if the new home owners allow. Chills just thinking about it.

Eilat - swim with dophins, enjoy the beach.

Petra, Joradan - I made a friend who lives in Lebanon. As I am not allowed into her country, and I don't believe she is allowed in mine (really Middle East, let's get this Peace thing going already) she and I will go to Petra with some of her Jordanian friends and be tourists! We will also be swimming in the Dead Sea, or rather, floating in the Dead Sea.

Miza and Ciro, Egypt - I'm going to see the Pyramids and everything else that is offered to my eyes. I can't wait! I may do this trip alone which will be SO much fun! But don't worry, I'll hook up with a tourist group so I'm not some young American/Israeli woman roaming the streets on her own.

Beer Sheva - see more family and friends!

_________ - This blank space is for the Kibbutz that I will be assigned to work and live in. Embracing the unknown!

August 8th: Fly back to NY and regroup for a few days. Hope to see my NYC urban family this week so mark your calendars!

August 12th: Fly out to Asheville NC to celebrate the union of my dear, amazing WONDERFUL cousin Whitney to an equally amazing man Yoni!

August 16: Fly out to San Fran to house- and dog-sit for my Step-dad's cousins. Relax by their pool, cuddle with the puppies, see my SF friends (Susan this means you), volunteer at ARF , and catch up on lots of phone calls and sleep.

September 2nd: Fly out to Chicago for one of my best friend's wedding! Also I will be spending time with my new niece/nephew and my brother and sister-in-law and celebrating Rosh Hashanah!

September 10th: Fly to Louisville to live with my dad and step-mom while helping them with their business.

October 1st: It all comes to an end. Fly back to NYC, move back into my studio, open my dog walking business and start yet another chapter of my life.

Wow....

Confirmation Number

So there I was, looking at the computer screen, knowing the only thing standing between me and my dream was that little Submit button, and without even taking a moment to realize the enormity of the situation I pressed it. It became official. I am now a British Airlines passenger due to land in Tel Aviv via Heathrow on May 5^th at 5:20am Israel time (sorry to whichever family member is picking me up).

Staring at my confirmation number a rush of adrenalin, joy, excitement and nerves washed over me. My heart was racing, I was light headed and I was pretty sure if I wasn’t at work I would have burst into sobbing tears. I wanted to scream: I DID IT! I made my dream come true! What have you done today!? But I couldn’t do that, so I wiped away the few tears that managed to eek through, took a deep breath and updated my Facebook status. :)

All I could think was less than six months ago, when my life felt like it was falling into pieces like a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, I told myself I was moving to Israel for the summer, and now it’s a reality. I’m doing it. You know, before, life was just so difficult. I think in images and the strongest image that comes to mind is that of a jigsaw puzzle that has been put together all wrong. Pieces jammed together, torn and smushed, making a picture of nothing at all. So yes, my life did fall into pieces, but now all of those pieces are free to be put in a better space. To be put back together properly where they are meant to be. And now my life can make a beautiful picture, instead of a jumbled mess.

I feel hopeful today.

Countdown: 37 days til takeoff!

Let me start at the beginning

On October 13th 2009 I found out that my boyfriend of five years, with whom I shared a home, made a home, wasn’t sure about marrying me after all, and my world seemingly fell apart. On October 15th my father flew me home to Louisville KY to regroup. As I was walking down the moving sidewalk I knew everything was going to be ok again because my father was waiting for me on the other side, and for better or worse (I think better), I will always be my daddy’s girl. As I went to hug him hello and take my first breath of relief in a day and a half I saw he was on the phone. As he hung up with the caller I finally got to wrap my arms around him and breathe. His first words to me were “my father just died.” And thus began my journey.

To make an extraordinarily long story short I’ll cut to the chase. Between mid October and the beginning of January I took a long and hard look at the state of my relationship and the state of my life and gutted the whole thing. I broke up with my boyfriend, moved back into my studio, changed careers and decided to live life to my fullest. You see, I was a Good Little Girl who grew up to be a Well Behaved Woman. And though that gave me a comfortable life, it did not give me a happy life. And I’ll be damned if I don’t have a life that is overflowing with joy.

What does this have to do with coming to Israel this summer you ask? Well, ever since I left Israel I told myself one day I’ll move back for a few months and find the part of myself that simply could not survive anywhere else. But I was so focused on leading a “responsible” life, a “comfortable” life that each year I told myself I’ll go back to Israel another year. Maybe after I get married. After my career takes off. After I have children. And before I know I’ll be at the end of my life and all I'd be able to say would be well, I had a comfortable life. Never has the word "comfortable" had such a negative connotation. So this Good Little girl who grew up to be a Well Behaved Woman is grabbing life by the balls and saying fuck it. Let’s see what happens when I mix things up and actually become an active member in my own life.

I don’t know what direction this blog will take, but I welcome you to join me as I find out.